Today I am 19 years old. I don’t really feel like I am 19 years old, but I guess I don’t really know what 19 should feel like. I guess I thought that by 19, I would have it all figured out and have no issues in my life. Where did I get that idea…?
My birthdays aren’t usually extremely extravagant, the last time I had a real party was like 6th grade and all my friends came over. Now I just like to spend it with family, whether it’s going out to eat or staying home and cooking a great meal. It’s simple and heartfelt, just the way I like it.
This morning my mom came upstairs to wake up my younger brother for work, probably for the fourth time (he’s not a morning person). Then she came and woke me up with a gentle “happy birthday”. When I came downstairs there was a lovely card signed from her and Dad next to the flowers that they got me for the alter at church.
I also love getting on Facebook on my birthday because its the most popular day of the year for my wall! I try my best to like all of the comments or reply “Thanks!” but that takes a long, long time. Perhaps the ‘Cut’ and ‘Paste’ option would be appropriate here? Nevertheless, it makes me smile and I am reminded once again how much I am blessed by the people around me.
I walked into work today to find that the lady I share my job with baked me a gluten-free cake. I also got a card signed from the rest of the office. It was totally unexpected and the fact that Marie went out of her way to bake me a cake was just too cute 🙂 I’m waiting on her to come back to the office before I have a piece!
My college friends are pretty great, too. One of them sent me a birthday box while she was on vacation. It had all kinds of girly goodies like lotion and earrings and stuff. She is by far the sweetest person I have ever met and I really don’t know what I would do without her! I am going to see her this weekend for the first time this summer and I cannot wait! It has been to long! My fantastic roomate took me to Subway for lunch today. The original plan was to go to Wendy’s for chili since that’s kinda our thing while school is in session, but it was really hot today and we decided that Subway sounded better. Its amazing how just living with people for one year can bring you so close together. I feel like I have known them my whole life and I trust them so much. I can’t wait to see what the next three years will bring for all of us!
Right now, I am actually at work, and when I get home I am going to bake stuff! That is my birthday present to myself, uninterupted baking. Last Saturday my mom, brother, and I went and picked blueberries. And we didn’t just pick some blueberries, we picked 6 pounds of blueberries!! I was in antioxident heaven! (So lame, I know.) And when life gives you 6 pounds of blueberries, make blueberry pie!…and pancakes and muffins and jelly and waffles and whatever else you can think of! I probably won’t make all of those things, but I will probably bake a gluten-free blueberry pie today and stick a candle in it, Lol.
Sometimes I feel like I haven’t accomplished enough in my life, and since today I am 19, I have reflected on that. What have I gotten done in my 19 years of life? Have I made God proud? Can I do better? Am I doing anything right? At the end of my time, I don’t want to feel regret for anything. I don’t want to think “I wish I would/wouldn’t have done that.” Sometimes I feel like I’m waiting around for something to happen, but nothing does so I just keep waiting. And when I wait around, I don’t get anything done! I know that every waking day of my life isn’t going to be exciting and fun because it’s life and parts of it are really going to suck, but then it’s all in how you think about it. Is my cup half empty, or half full?
It depends on the day for me, I guess. Some days my cup overflows! Other days it seems bone dry, when really it’s not. Sometimes I even pick up the glass and dump it out myself, and I am ashamed of that. Those are my weakest days when I am way to concerned about myself than the people around me. I guess the first step to getting better is admitting that you have a problem, right? One of my favorite verses right now is Philippians 1:6 and it reads, “I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ.”(NRSV) Someday God will complete me. He has started a good work in me and I’ve got to let Him finish. I need to lay aside what gets in His way, and that’s not easy.
But today my cup is overflowing, and it’s not just because it’s my birthday. It’s the promise that someday we will finally be complete, and that will be a beautuiful day. ❤
This GF Angel food cake was my birthday cake 🙂 I’ll bake the pie tomorrow…